Monthly Archives: July 2015

Trying to regain the fire

I’ve found my dance home in New Mexico.

BRT in Albuquerque is the closest I can find to my home in Alabama.

The Thursday night class I’ve been attending has been as much a challenge as I’ve ever expected for an open class that includes really only adults.

The guy who teaches the class teachers really similar to my teachers back home.

Maybe it’s because I’ve only been dancing about once a week, but my technique seems about shot.

Maybe it’s because I’m dancing at about 5,000 feet above sea level, or I’m getting close to 50 … or the fact that I’m just not in shape, but I don’t seem to have the energy I once had.

I want to plunge back in. I’ve danced at a higher level, and I want to show that.

But the energy thing has been an issue. So has being 70 miles away from class, and there is no other class to be found in the small community south of Albuquerque.

Or the fact that my body is also adjusting to a first-shift job after working a second-shift job that I chose to sleep in on a Saturday morning rather than go to a beginner class that starts at 9:15. From the lovely town I live in, that would mean leaving at 7:30 a.m. just to make it.

That’s a hard thing to do when you savour sleeping in on a weekend.

There was a time when being ballet-obsessed meant that really wasn’t the case. I mean, who needs sleep when you can dance?

At one point a few years back, I danced five days a week and could keep up with company kids and harbored performing dreams and goals like they did.

Now, I’m not sure really what I want.

I do want to dance at least one more day a week. And there are only two options, Wednesday night beginner class or Saturday morning beginner class.

Both present challenges. And I do wonder how slow the classes are. I love the more intense classes even though my energy level is lower and my technique is shot.

Seriously, I want to scream in class “I can dance better than this.”

And I’m also unsure of myself nowadays, and I’m unsure of my goals.

Do I want to just enjoy class? Do I want to perform? Can I be happy just taking class without performing?

And the performing option is one available at BRT. There are auditions for parts in the Nutcracker and other BRT company performances.

August 22 is the big day, and there is an audition for adults performing character roles (I haven’t noticed many guys dancing in open classes at BRT, but the audition is actually city-wide, so I don’t know about the competition).

I do know this, I need to get back dancing more if I’m even halfway serious about auditioning. I want to show I can do much more than I’ve shown in class.