Taking my place at the barre

I never thought I would go this long without a class.

It’s been more than a month since I’ve been in any dance class. It’s been since May since I’ve taken a class at the pre-pro school that I’ve called home in the eight years since I returned to ballet class.

If you’ve read previous posts, you know the last dance year didn’t quite end on a great note. I was burned out because of it and tried a new studio (where I’ll still be taking a class or two).

I never intended for my exile to last this long. But problems with my newspaper industry job and my son moving to another town put me in a difficult spot. Ballet suddenly became a luxury instead of a necessity.

So I stayed away while the studio held its summer session.

The studio’s new season is two weeks in, but I’m just now beginning to recover.

So my return to the barre is planned for Wednesday morning, which is also the first day of the semester at the university where I’m still taking classes.

I’m not sure what will greet me when I return. Dancers I knew have graduated. Even a teacher and fellow adult dancer is no longer with the school. New professionals have been hired.

Will I be welcomed back? I do wonder if I’ve even been missed.

I’m approaching this year with a different attitude. I’m not going to be so gung-ho. I’m going to act more my age instead of being an overgrown pre-pro student. I’m going to go and enjoy class, seek to be in ones with more adults and not beat myself up over things I can’t do.

At least that’s the plan.

I’m not going to stress over being in, or not being in, whatever performance the company is doing.

If I’m offered a part, wonderful. I’ll be grateful. I’ve had my share of wonderful parts and have no complaints.

If not, no problem.

I’m in it for the fun this year, for the stress reliever that I’ve missed through some very difficult times and for the workouts that I so need,

That doesn’t mean I won’t seek to improve. It doesn’t mean I won’t keep working toward more consistent double pirouettes.

But I’m not going to stress over not achieving those goals.

I’m a recreational dancer, not a kid with professional dreams,

I’m just going to relax and have fun.

One response to “Taking my place at the barre

  • Bush Ballerina

    Sounds like the perfect attitude! And I’m sure, despite some possible preclass nerves, you will find your heart is still at the barre where it will always be. 🙂

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